Thursday, May 04, 2006

Running into the sun but I'm running behind

Looking out at the road rushing under my wheels
Looking back at the years gone by like so many summer fields
In sixty-five I was seventeen and running up one-on-one
I don't know where I'm running now, I'm just running on
Running on-running on empty
Running on-running blind
Running on-running into the sun
But I'm running behind
Gotta do what you can just to keep your love alive
Trying not to confuse it with what you do to survive
In sixty-nine I was twenty-one and I called the road my own
I don't know when that road turned into the road I'm on
Running on-running on empty
Running on-running blind
Running on-running into the sun
But I'm running behind
Everyone I know, everywhere I go
People need some reason to believe......Jackson Browne

Ok....53 sucks big time! Turning 40 did not bother me...I guess I thought I still had half my life ahead of me....50 bothers me big time and now what got me in the funk?

I so desperately need a career change! I am bored! I am not challenged! I need to do something that interests me and I have been doing some soul searching. I think the only way to make a career change is to go back to school. I'm seriously thinking about a 2 year degree in graphic design. Ok...that has me excited! I'm looking at the courses...seeing how to work them into my life and still work full time.

Then I go to Starbucks at lunch for a cup of hot tea and I sit and think....and I think "ARE YOU NUTS? WHY DO YOU THINK YOU CAN DO THIS?"

Every day, I go home dead tired(not because I work hard)....I'm just brain-dead from lack of stimulation and burn-out! So how am I going to have the energy to go to school and do the projects? Right now I feel like I am running on empty...I can't get it all done! Housework...yardwork...laundry...familytime...Art-time....I guess I want too much and I want it all! Maybe the schooling will energize me and give me a purpose....or have I waited too long?

I could easily be 56 before I get finished...and would anyone hire me because of my age? If the free-lance market could use me, I guess I could do much to think about! Gotta keep talking myself into this and looking into. I think I will sign up for at least one class to take over the summer and see how it goes.

We are off to the lake for a fun weekend of scrapping and fellowship! My scrappin' girlfriends and I are taking off tomorrow afternoon! Happy Dance!

1 comment:

~*~ Coralee ~*~ said...

Hey there, Just wanted to say......Age is just a Number. Do what you want to do....Because this is it and we have to cram everything in because we can't go back and do it again once it's over!! Even if no one hires you ....Hey you did something that's inspiring and you love!! Your never too old... too young or too in between to learn something new...That's what life is all about ...A learning Journey...Enjoy the ride Sweetie...and goodluck with whatever you Choose xx